if you're reading this, you're either
a) visiting this blog for the first time
b) bored
c) trying to practice your reading skills
d) jeremiah marvelling at his genius
e) a retard who doesn't realise the symbols on the left are links

Saturday, January 01, 2005 [[]]


just a note to visitors: leave me a tag so i know you've been here!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

i've been blogging lots lately. it's just that time, that feeling i guess. where you reflect. where you think. being the thinker and philosopher i am, i guess there really shouldnt be any surprise i'm doing this now. let's think back on 2004.

2004: a year filled with changes. academically wise, it has taken some getting used to, moving from triple science class to one of the arts stream, struggling with lit and econs despite i have a flair for english. cca wise, moving from a slacker post in ncc air to the second highest in student council which is a big shift in responsibility and commitment for me, something i'm still learning to adapt to, even now. on to more interesting issues closer to the heart, literally.

to quote marcus: "this year lots of people struggled to find themselves, seeked the way they were supposed to take, simply because it's a whole new environment, and lots of people in CJ are from single-sex secondary schools, so it just gets more interesting in JC". i agree totally. i learnt, through the hard way, what should be done, what shouldn't be done regarding chasing a girl. i learnt not to trust my heart fully because i've been burnt, no less than 3 times at least this year alone. i learnt patience. i learnt not to rush into things. it's amusing really, looking back. how i grappled in the dark. how i became so much the wiser. the ups, the downs. the times when i felt that this was a load of bull, when i tried to ignore my feelings and struggle through everyday, despite me feeling like shit each day in school. i'm still learning now. i'm still not sure. with you? i don't know. take it slow yeah. but i can't help but feel, as marcus puts it so accurately, impatient. i feel i have a long way to go before i can even try something with you, and the road seems long. but yeah, above all i value our friendship and i won't do anything to endanger it.

you know the feeling you get: something more than just physical attraction. all year around i noticed all my crushes were only of the physical kind. i never really felt good talking to them, or felt alive around them. the kinda thing where seeing her smile makes you smile too. this time, i feel its different. but yeah, i don't wanna jump the gun and jump to conclusions. i don't wanna rush it on one hand, but i'm impatient to know on the other. and i'm jealous too sometimes.



ahhhh... i'm going nuts at 3 am in the morning. happy new year once more anyways! =)


`donovan. |2:51 AM|