if you're reading this, you're either
a) visiting this blog for the first time
b) bored
c) trying to practice your reading skills
d) jeremiah marvelling at his genius
e) a retard who doesn't realise the symbols on the left are links

Wednesday, March 30, 2005 [[]]


wow. orientation's over. and i can say we did a pretty good job. the j1s enjoyed it. some even compared it to o1 and said it was better, which is an achievement considering usually o2 sucks more than o1. on another note: that's right, go ahead and take credit. as long as i get my points at the end of term i don't really care what happens in the cca. all of you can go do what you want.





now have school again, noooooooooooooooooo. shit.


`donovan. |10:20 PM|

Sunday, March 27, 2005 [[]]


things never really got back the same did they? somehow..


Hello there, the angel from my nightmare,
The shadow in the background of the morgue,
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
And we'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
The webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight


Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)

-//i.miss.you.blink.182



haha. had fun today. doing orientation day 3 games with some facils and ben. and defence of the A. haha. bring it. with leoric. and refresher orb. and power treads. and mask of madness. and burize. and monkey king bar. and cranium basher. i'm stuff with feel-good items man. i swear i'll try the cute bear next time, as jeremiah puts it. =)


`donovan. |12:51 AM|

Thursday, March 24, 2005 [[]]


hmm. i'm back after day 2. i never knew organising and moving j1s around could be so tiresome. a hundred different things to attend to, facil A coming to you with questions, facil B and C passing up forms, facil D missing and all the while you have to marshall j1s properlyin the hall. and i'm not even a full fledged facilinteracting at the cell level. argh.


i've a fever now. 37.8. hope wil recover asap. dota today, javier and his spider ruled the day. and his bragging of dropping rapier for opponents was memorable. but at least he can put his money where his mouth is. hah. one man show today, the rest of us on his team didnt even need to bother. good job jav: you stole 3 of my kills at least. haha.


sigh, tired and burning up literally. gotta hang in there. just. gotta. keep. from. slipping...


`donovan. |9:26 PM|

Wednesday, March 23, 2005 [[]]


hmm. i'm a FOC-er. lousy grades to be sure. hai. guess i just wasnt in the mood to do exams. never studied. and to distract myself i spent time with friends and doing orientation, running away from my academics. that's the price you pay i guess.

C for lit. Actually that's my highest ever in an exam in CJ. i guess that has made me rethink my decision to drop S paper lit. i mean, i kept getting Ds, which is what everyone gets. So if i'm no different from them, others would question why i'm taking 'special' paper. which is the same question i ask myself. like, do i deserve it, or do i have the capabilities to carry on with it. tough questions, which i thought i answered already. so now, i'm thinking whether i ough to continue with my plan to drop it, or to continue with it. hai.

the icing on the cake is my GP i guess. i thought my compo would have been the better mark, with me doing an unconventional question. but in the end, it was the weaker link with 27 upon 50. the compre was my highest ever too, with 35 marks. and i always thought my compre sucked. ah well. strange things.

first day of orientation. i guess the major job of the OIC stops when planning's over. after that, i'm just overseeing and coordinating, the show's in the hands of the facils and the comm heads. today standing in front of 900 over students was simply terrifying, lucky my legs didnt shake. haha. just hope things will continue to function like today's first day. sigh. worried.

dota trashed again. hai.

need to work out more. want the 'big guns' as miah puts it. want to get gold for my SBJ. want alot of things too. never seem to take concrete steps to obtain them. or even if i did, 'doomed to failure'. damn brave new world.


hai.


`donovan. |10:53 PM|

Tuesday, March 22, 2005 [[]]


hmm. orientation tomorrow. i'm oic. scared.


i have immunity-from-teachers-and-exam-results until next wednesday. nice.


i dont need my feelings. cool.


hope nothing goes wrong tomorrow. pray.


once this is through...

heng ah


`donovan. |10:51 PM|

Saturday, March 19, 2005 [[]]


it's been a long day. walked around sentosa until my feet hurt. arrgh, and i've to do it tomorrow again. wopee.

facils please stop pulling out. it's irresponsible and is causing us manpower problems. so yeah, unless you're relaly in dire straits, dont pull out now for pulling out's sake or cause your friends are leaving. thanks.


_{happy for you cheryl. congrats. =)}









`donovan. |1:25 AM|

Thursday, March 17, 2005 [[]]


wow. i just got good news for my family for a change! after 2 years of time spent at home which my dad used to train himself and build a portfolio, taking a masters degree and all, he got a high level job offer which is something big. some deputy director level job which may allow him to earn back his pre MOE pay when he was in the SAF as a lt. col. which is like, quite high. uber cool. go dad! =)

on another note.



cheryl: sometimes i feel i should just shut up. since when i talk, nothing nice happens; on the contrary, things seem to get worse each time i open my mouth. haiz. i'm sorry... and if you need to talk or just randomly sms, i'm here ya.

pido: hey thanks for being my 2IC for orientation. seriously, alot of stuff wouldnt get done if not for your help. let's bullshit it together bro, hahaah. cant wait for next dota session when time permits.. =P

miah: we should go out for dinner more often. no need at KAP la, just sit down and talk trash and stuff. it's fun. and more dota. hhaha.


`donovan. |12:02 AM|

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 [[]]


here i go. at 3 am in the morning. gonna catch some sleep. and wake up 4 hours later to go to school. to finish doing up the facilitator handbook for orientation. and wowee. the things i do for council. haha, after the handbok, there's banner painting. and maybe an outing with the dog and his class. if time permits. and if i dont drop dead from exhaustion first.

some people havent been pulling their weight lately, if you're reading this and know who you are, i'm sure you know what must be done. dont make me come after you. it wont be nice. i'm all nice outside work and all, even during working. but when datelines have to be met and results don't show, someone's head's gotta roll.


omg, that was a cool rhyme. see, sprite, alterbridge, orientation work and staring at the computer at 3am in the morning gets ya high. told ya so, and so good bye.

gee another rhyme. *groan* lame-ass i know. haha =P


`donovan. |3:00 AM|

Sunday, March 13, 2005 [[]]


hahahaahahahahaahahahahaha. in suuuch a good mood. cause i'm getting bbbeettt-tar at DOTA! i raped ppl consistently over the past few days with Leoric (Divine Rapier raping divinely, oh yeeah.), Clinkz (Burize, hell yeah.), Tinker (Heat seeking-missiles, hot stuff!) and Kel Thuzad (frosty man!). look out terry, gughan, ivan, tiff, doris, miah and pido, i'm gonna frag your asses 8 ways to sunday and back.


oorrriiieeennnttaatiiiooooonn is coming up! massive planning and getting into gear now!


studies: tyrign to catch up and do extra work this hols, gotta get outta this pit which landed me two Fs for the CTs.


i hope all the above will distract me from my 'other' problems. for now, it certainly is helping. maybe when its all through, i'll forget i ever had any problems ya. i might even forget you. haha, optimistic for now. =)


`donovan. |9:02 PM|

Sunday, March 06, 2005 [[]]


eh. sian diao. got raped by miah and terry at DOTA today. and there's school tomorrow. and council. and orientation.





`donovan. |8:36 PM|

[[]]


wow. today was a looooong day. woke up at 7 to get to harbour front mrt on time: 8.30am. after breakfast at mac's with eileen, we all proceeded, or rather the small group of council that turned up, to sentosa where we had fun for like, the whole day till about 2 or 3 where we left to go to ivan's condo at mt faber for the bbq. there, i'm proud to say i finally learnt how to swing. lol, sorry, deprived childhood. jon told me all about nanruto and haha, it sounds like a damn cool anime, think i'm gonna get hooked. oh, and we played zhong-ji-mi-ma which evolved into spin the handphone (my handphone! and it's all scratched at the back now hmph) and truth or dare. alot of funky stuff came out, and with tiff there with us the rest of the other guys, haha it was jsut hilarious. oh and we did some crazy dares, siong chew proposing to tiff, kaying hugging siong chew like she'll hug jon, me piggy backing pido up and down the flight of stairs nearby... haha we played until like nearly 11 man! and luckily pido's parents dropped miah, tiff, gabriel, siong chew and me off at coronation plaza so we could take a bus home from there rather than godforsaken harbour front. so here i am, blogging when i just reached home. haha. probably will DOTA / cs tomorrow. =) i'm so burnt by the sun and tired after walking around all day. nights.


`donovan. |12:25 AM|

Saturday, March 05, 2005 [[]]


Tough, you think you`ve got the stuff
You`re telling me and anyone
You`re hard enough
You don`t have to put up a fight
You don`t have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don`t have to go it alone

And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you when I don`t pick up the phone
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I... that`s alright
We`re the same soul
I don`t need... I don`t need to hear you say
That if we weren`t so alike
You`d like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don`t have to go it alone
And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you when I don`t pick up the phone
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own

I know that we don`t talk
I`m sick of it all
Can you hear me when I sing,
you`re the reason I sing
You`re the reason why the opera is in me
Where are we now?
I`ve got to let you know
A house still doesn`t make a home
Don`t leave me here alone

And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own
Sometimes you can`t make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own

-//sometimes.you.cant.make.it.on.your.own.u2


`donovan. |1:06 AM|

Friday, March 04, 2005 [[]]


groan. just wanted to blog that after all that food i ate, i'm a lil woozy. haha, kinda like all the oxygen for digestion's going to my stomach and not to my brain. and i overate. this means more time in the gym after this, groan. but the food was great, haha. think i ate enough for two dinners..


`donovan. |11:03 PM|

[[]]


haha, what a turn around! these few days life's really been flipping me 'heads' all the way man! first off:

happy bday dad!

haha, now that that's over and done with, while i'm waiting to shower and prepare for my family outing, lemme talk about other stuff that happened today. came late for facil interviews today because i'm settling something else outside la. sorry LA, pido. why always take things so seriously? i'll not question and get all pissed if our places were exchanged. AND, you left me and gughan to settle the 4.30 interviews without telling us anything. and you took the file. i also never comment on any 'irresponsibility' on your part what. hmm.

later got our results for AO chinese. and. omg, you're not gonna believe this buuut...

donovan koh kah weng xu jiarong got a freakin D7! a.k.a. no need to take CL B. a.k.a. i passed! i mean, have you ever heard of donovan getting more than an F9 or E8? hahaha, i was like hysterical and shouting like mad in the hall, happy as hell. hahaahhahahaha. still am glad. =)

haha, to louis, man yun and cheryl: i know you guys think you could have gotten better, but hey, what's done is done. and you passed, that's the important thing. now bang on your A level subs yeah... and congrats to joshua and melissa, haha heard you guys got A2.

lol, on the way back from lunch before coming back to school for my facil interviews, can you believe, the damn bus door closed on me as i was boarding it! yup, i used my bag to lever the door open as i tried to slide out of the way of being crushed.. as i was boarding i placed my hand on the metal banister and to my horror, it started moving as the door was closing and i was like what the bloody hell, before frantically trying to get out of the way and slamming into gughan behind me. lol, the old bus uncle, dunno what he's doing la. after that on the way back to CJ, he brake so hard we almost flew forward. hai.

kk, enough happened for a day, i'm gonna go out for dinner now. haha, i hope Life continues to flip me 'heads'. haha, ciao.

=)


`donovan. |6:18 PM|

Thursday, March 03, 2005 [[]]


howdy folks. haha, yup, you can tell, i'm in a fairly good mood today. haha, though i'll gather i really shouldnt be in such a mood, cause i think i just got F for math CT. haha, but what the hell, it's only CT and screw it all. so predicted results for my CT:

GP: B3
Econs: F (remember my 4 line essay stunt? haha)
Math: F
Lit: D, maybe.

anyways, let's get on to why i'm in a better mood now! went out after interviewing prospective facils until 2.30pm with pido, the black (i.e. gughan) and olsen to play DotA and CS and generals. haha, i didnt play real LAN for so long le. (sorry louis, playing computer at your place for free doesnt count as LAN, haha.) anyway, the point was, playing with them and some j1s, i finally felt, eerm, how to put it, free? weird huh, lan = freedom. but ya, i guess it just kinda reminded me of my own j1 life and the time beforei had any responsibilities to fulfill and events to organise. and the mega stress-ness of the whole situation when everything happens at a bad time together. studies, common tests, council work, complicated knots in friendships to untie. all just came together and blew up in my face earlier this week. wowee, and now that i've the freedom of knowing i failed all my common tests, and after relieving some stress blasting ppl apart, haha. i feel better. i feel less conscious. i feel also, by my last post of just doing whatever i want already, that i feel more free. ya, somehow. it's great i dont have to care anymore. at least for now. soo, altogether now, let's heave a sigh of relief.

sigh.

i'm not mad at you. ok, maybe i am. but dont take it to heart. that was during the peak of the exam when i had to organise 4 different council things to-do on friday AND try to study a hell lotta shit for the first time for the exam. AND i had no mood to do so. i'm over-reacting to everything around me. and that includes you. but about you doing what you want and i'll do what i want, i meant that. i feel so much damned freer now. maybe in the future, things might get better again. like they used to. anyway, i can see you dont need to deal with me now. i'm not worth your time nor effort. don't think you should bother now anyway, you still have physics and him to occupy/worry yourself over. i gather you're very pissed from what joshua said yesterday online when i asked the reason for your entry. maybe i really should not pass msgs back and forth, each time i do that only seem to aggravate the situation, not help it.


so till the time comes, i dunno when, when you feel better. and not so weird. and not so busy. and not so dao, if ever you are. lemme know. and till then, don't stay angry or sad. you know he bloody doesnt mean it as it says. he just wants this over with. as with me.

good luck for your tests and Godspeed.

_{P.S j=13 pts is right. and he's staying.}


`donovan. |9:29 PM|

Wednesday, March 02, 2005 [[]]


bravo. today, i've written the least amount of words for a single essay in my entire lousy long eudcational career. for my econs essay, i did number 2 which had two parts. part a) was a grand total of 4 lines. part b) grand total of 3/4 of a page. which makes mywhole 25 mark essay less than one side. i'm. so. dead.

econs is so screwed.

math i heard tomorrow is gonna be damn tough. and on top of all this, council is running full steam.

lit was bull [shitted, shat?] on tuesday. i never studied earnestly for my common tests at all. i sat down at the table. and i tried, you better believe me. but nothing went in. and one can guess why.

life is very miserable now. =(



did you know not at least smiling or greeting friends back when they do so is rude?




or are we even friends. you say one thing. you say you're feeling this 'different'. you say you dont wanna lose this friendship.


you do another. always.


i'm too sick of trying to figure you out. to figure me out. and yes, i'm too sensitive maybe, so shoot me. but that's just me, me and my greatest strength/weakness. take it or leave it.

that's why i say, no more. no more. i'm too tired. this is affecting my life too much le. you do what you want. i'll do what i want.



all.or.nothingo.town


`donovan. |9:31 PM|

Tuesday, March 01, 2005 [[]]


aaah. lit is quite crap. but for the amount of non existent work i put in for it, it's quite cool. haha, think can pass la. did the context qn for return of the native cause i felt more confident for that, and the essay for brave new world. just crapped shit up.

just an update on wat happened after GP on monday, since ppl say my blog dead cause i dont update it with what i do anymore, lol. after GP, went out with clar, louis, man yun, derek, joshua, marcus, jeremy and someone else i dunno. haha, thanks to jeremy we all got free lunch, though i think it's quite bad he paid 30 over bucks for all of us when he didn't even eat. haha, but thanks anyway man. gonna demand he holds my GP classes in town and buys my group lunch then. =P

all of us except that someone i dunno and jeremy, who went off to borders, went to take neoprints later. haha, marcus and joshua, in their own words, were virgin neoprint-ers, muhahaahahah. took several ones, one normal shot smiling, one dao face with "what's your problem" graffiti-ed underneath and one so called funny face. that one i looked dopy and just gave a blank face and then man yun later said i act cute!? what the... there's just no pleasing some ppl, lol. oh and i found out something, my hair's super brown on strong light! haha.

econs tomorrow. i'm dead. and i have no mood to study. trying to force myself to. but. damn. it's tough. ah well. life goes on. and exams come. aargh.



and go.



and there's ORIENTATION!! more prep more prep more prep to do...


`donovan. |5:19 PM|