if you're reading this, you're either
a) visiting this blog for the first time
b) bored
c) trying to practice your reading skills
d) jeremiah marvelling at his genius
e) a retard who doesn't realise the symbols on the left are links

Saturday, February 25, 2006 [[in session, again.]]


i see that my ode to nice guy's going around. heh.



need work, got job? call don. thank you.


`donovan. |1:52 AM|

Friday, February 24, 2006 [[drawn out.]]


i'll post lyrics whenever i want to.




dishwalla - drawn out

so the lines are lost
on the smallest details
of the life that we tossed
pushed out over the rail
and the wounds run deep
through the one man so bad
he's fallen beneath
the touch of your hand

and its all drawn out
there's nothing inside
and nothing to hold nothing to find
its wearing' me out
this feeling insideI'm all drawn out

and the promise we break it
and the reasons we fake it
bring us farther apart
from the love that we make
as the poisonous time leaves us gasping for air
we run for the past
but were already there

and its all drawn out
there's nothing inside
and nothing to hold
nothing to find and its wearing me out
this feeling inside
and its all drawn out
its all drawn out
I'm all drawn out


`donovan. |12:35 AM|

Thursday, February 23, 2006 [[bloody hell. dumbass society.]]


WARNING. FOLLOWING POST IS FULL OF RANT, AND GRAPHIC DETAIL.




ok. take a deep breath. on the count of three. start. ranting.

1.

2.

3.

WAH MOTHER FREAKING ASSHOLE WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS THIS SHIT I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO TYPE THIS IT'S SO SLOW IT'S SO GRAPHIC THIS SHIT ACTUALLY HAPPENS WAH DAMN YOU JAMES KHOO FOR GIVING ME THIS JOB FUCK LA I CAN'T HOLD BACK ANYMORE THIS IS HORRIFIC DAMN MYSELF FOR TAKING IT OH MY GOD LA THIS AIN'T RIGHT IT'S SUCH SLOW GOING WORK AND UTTERLY FUCKED UP.


ok, now that's outta my system lemme explain myself.


this job of mine, i got it helping james khoo out with his mediacorp documentary filming job. the documentary is about troubled youth and his job is the general dog servant. producer wants shooting locations, check. producer wants lunch, check. producer wants thinner, check. producer wants him to find talent, check. producer wants him to contact everyone and keep the whole production together, check. producer wants to pay him peanuts for his dog work, check. incidently he gets 100/episode. he should be getting 1.2k a month. instead, 8 episodes, 800 bucks. measly for his work. trust me, i do less than half of it and i'm disgusted already.

i do the transcripting of the interviews. and basically that involves taking down everything that is said in the interview. every. little. thing. which includes the horrific language of this ITE girl. the damn mumbling. the sudden stumbling and acceleration of words. the making up of words. the singlish. positively horrific grammar. and then some. and if that isn't bad enough, if 1 hour's worth of transcribing sounds easy enough to you? hoho, you've got it wrong. i work at a rat eof about 3 hours typing to 20 mins of interview time which means i take 9 hours for an interview. i'm like currently 40 mins into it, having spent 2 separate sessions of 3 hours so far. it's slow going at best, frustrating and CURSING AND SWEARING at worst.

and around the 30 min to 40 min mark, the girl opens up! literally. and starts, telling weird shit. i mean, at first her mom caning and burning her's quite bad enough. but then, her father starts abusing her sexually. i'll just quote some until the point where i've worked. please, if you can't stand this, just ignore, scroll further down, or leave altogether. this is me bitching about my job and i just need to get it outta my system.


Girl:
Erm, because of what I said I was not allowed into the house so usually I was locked at the shoe rack area then my dad would wake up very late so when he wakes up late usually there’s nobody around it’s only left him and me then he would always open the door for me to use the toilet, look around and eat, as long as it’s not obvious that it’s missing can already then sometimes he just like let me drink his coffee a bit then he also can drink and, thing’s like that la. Then usually there’s one period of time I said I want to play computer so he actually let me go use the computer room that computer, and actually let me play the computer. Then he said after he finish brushing his teeth and stuff like that he said he want to change so I said “ok you want to change then I go out” he said “Ah nevermind nevermind you just sit there.” So I was like “Huh? Oh ok.” Then I sit there and play then he take out his pants then he come up to me then he showed me ah, then he asked me to touch his penis.

Interviewer:
Ok so what was going through your mind?

Girl:
I was like ok, I was thinking what was he doing and then I also was thinking since he’s my father he ask me to do this type of thing I think should be ok. Anyway I also don’t get along with my mom so I think should be ok.

Interviewer:
So if you don’t mind, I mean besides going into graphic detail, what, besides touching, what else did he ask you to do?

Girl:
Subsequently other than touching that was the first thing, then he actually showed me the pornographic vcd then he erm, asked me to sit down and watch with him and that is the very first time I watched then after that he actually get me to erm, masturbate for him. Ya then there was one time when he actually went into a toilet with me and bathed each other, uh-huh. Then after that when he rinsing, oh then I go to the room first. He say nevermind you just stay with me and watch ah. Then after that he actually asked me to take out those, you know those test tubes from the, from the, what you call that, test tube from the container which he kept I don’t know for what then he asked me to play with myself. Ya, putting it in and out of my vagina.
Interviewer:
So can I say that because it’s your trust in your father that’s why you’re doing all these things?

Girl:
Ya.






_{=YOU CAN LOOK NOW IF YOU SCROLLED DOWN=}


i mean what kinda father exploits such trust? sonuva bitch if i catch the mother fucking bastard i'll slit his dick and make sure he chokes on it.


wah. the combination of shock, frustration and stupid language is getting to me la. wtf. need a break. i'm going nuts from this dumbass one off job. clubbing anyone on 4th march? need an outlet.


`donovan. |12:58 AM|

Friday, February 17, 2006 [[mussee.]]


i feel like i gotta write, but write what i simply cannot decide upon. argh. need, an outlet. maybe later tonight.


`donovan. |8:01 PM|

Wednesday, February 15, 2006 [[just because you asked me to.]]


4 jobs u had in ur life:
1. redemption counter personel
2. warehouse workman
3. pissing off my parents
4. student

4 movies u cld watch over and over again:
1. the last samurai
2. equilibrium
3. the lord of the rings
4. the matrix

4 cities u lived in:
1. petersburg, virginia
2. orlando, florida
3. vancouver, canada
4. san francisco, california

4 tv shows u love to watch:
1. desperate housewives
2. american idol
3. whose line is it anyway
4. chinese and indian dramas so i can laugh at them

4 places u've been on vacation:
1. america
2. m'sia
3. canada
4. india? (OCIP, heh)

4 websites u visit everyday:
1. all those on my links list
2. friendster
3. my blog
4. ultimate-guitar

4 pple I'm tagging this to:
1. gughan
2. soph
3. rach
4. shufang


`donovan. |10:11 PM|

Monday, February 13, 2006 [[oh the foolish things people do.]]


as quoted from alvin's blog:


THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A VALENTINE'S DAY DATE

- "today is a very special day.."

- any sentence beginning with "my mother.."

- " you know, i have a reputation for being a ladies' man. i have no idea why." ( transalaton: i was drunk and can't remember a thing. in yer face don!)

- " you are paying right?"

- " sorry, i need to leave early to study for a test tomorrow."

- " so Sandy.. sorry Valerie.. i meant Sarah!"

- "are you enjoying your Big Mac?"

- " whoa, that girl is hot!"

- "i brought along a friend."

- "what do you mean, a singlet isn't formal?! i washed it specially ok!"

- "i kinda feel bad for my wife.."

- " eh chio bu! wanna pak tor?!?!"( inserts last finger into ear/mouth/nose/pocket)


`donovan. |8:51 PM|

[[in session.]]




Ode To Nice Guys (back by popular demand)

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores.This is in honour of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honour of the guys with open minds,with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honour of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favour cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warmbody for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that.The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all: "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathise and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do(I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realise they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys.You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker fora pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

If you're a nice guy and endured all these, put it on your blog.


`donovan. |12:27 AM|

Sunday, February 12, 2006 [[remember when it rained.]]


i like the way tappy puts it.

"the way i see it, everything ends in tears or death anyway, so take chances."


so. literature like. yeah, i guess death and isolation, loneliness (in old age or death), and despair eventually come knocking on everyone's door, it's the deal that you cut with life and the grim reaper that enables you to squeeze out every last ounce of joy and happiness outta life that makes the bargain worthwhile. else you'll just be left with all the tears and death.


`donovan. |10:49 PM|

Thursday, February 09, 2006 [[SUPERSIZE our tragedies.]]


mmmm. I SLEPT ON THE JOB AND STILL GOT PAID. lol.

first experience of warehouse work yesterday. we arrived late at 10, supposed to report at 9, but hey, the delivery truck came later than us anyway. we worked from 11 to 1 as box slashers, slashing open boxes of shoes and tallying the right number of shoes corresponding to the sizes ordered in each box. boring, physical work as we were lifting lotsa boxes around and bending over to slash them and count. 20 pellets (is that how you spell it?) done in 2 hours, not half bad. lunch was crappy, thanks to jeremy's discovery of the sign "EAT" pointing the right direction after we were lost in the midle of the desolate industrial park in Tuas. came back after lunch, waited for second shipment that never showed up, started sleeping. all the way from 1.30 to 4.30. and got paid 58 for my trouble! lol. not bad for 2 hours of work. =)


interview as a waiter later at 5pm today, marina square. dinner anyone?


`donovan. |10:54 AM|

Friday, February 03, 2006 [[desperate and ravenous.]]


a year ago, this thorn would have bled me.
a year ago, i would have walked a path.
a year ago, i would have regretted.




time flies so fast. it's past chinese new year already, and guess what folks? over-commercialised vday is baaaaaaaaaaaacckkkkkk. haha. i can still remember the crazy stuff we did in school, the stupid "i-tell-you-who-but-u-don't-tell-anyone-else-ok?". past all that. past everything. yeah, i think i can finally safely say, one year three months going on, these fetters hold me no more. wish you all the best, see you soon during A lvl results, sure you'll ace them. you probably won't be seeing this, but yeah, i'll so like to talk to you again like we used to.




little angel go away
come again some other day
devil has my ear today
i'll never hear a word you say


`donovan. |10:41 AM|

Wednesday, February 01, 2006 [[norse mythology, not the online game.]]


Ragnarok ("Doom of the Gods"), also called Gotterdammerung, means the end of the cosmos in Norse mythology. It will be preceded by Fimbulvetr, the winter of winters. Three such winters will follow each other with no summers in between. Conflicts and feuds will break out, even between families, and all morality will disappear. This is the beginning of the end.

The wolf Skoll will finally devour the sun, and his brother Hati will eat the moon, plunging the earth [into] darkness. The stars will vanish from the sky. The cock Fjalar will crow to the giants and the golden cock Gullinkambi will crow to the gods. A third cock will raise the dead.

The earth will shudder with earthquakes, and every bond and fetter will burst, freeing the terrible wolf Fenrir. The sea will rear up because Jormungand, the Midgard Serpent, is twisting and writhing in fury as he makes his way toward the land. With every breath, Jormungand will stain the soil and the sky with his poison. The waves caused by the serpent's emerging will set free the ship Naglfar, and with the giant Hymir as their commander, the giants will sail towards the battlefield. From the realm of the dead a second ship will set sail, and this ship carries the inhabitants of hell, with Loki as their helmsman. The fire giants, led by the giant Surt, will leave Muspell in the south to join against the gods. Surt, carrying a sword that blazes like the sun itself, will scorch the earth.

Meanwhile, Heimdall will sound his horn, calling the sons of Odin and the heroes to the battlefield. From all the corners of the world, gods, giants, dwarves, demons and elves will ride towards the huge plain of Vigrid ("battle shaker") where the last battle will be fought. Odin will engage Fenrir in battle, and Thor will attack Jormungand. Thor will victorious, but the serpent's poison will gradually kill the god of thunder. Surt will seek out the swordless Freyr, who will quickly succumb to the giant. The one-handed Tyr will fight the monstrous hound Garm and they will kill each other. Loki and Heimdall, age-old enemies, will meet for a final time, and neither will survive their encounter. The fight between Odin and Fenrir will rage for a long time, but finally Fenrir will seize Odin and swallow him. Odin's son Vidar will at once leap towards the wolf and kill him with his bare hands, ripping the wolf's jaws apart.

Then Surt will fling fire in every direction. The nine worlds will burn, and friends and foes alike will perish. The earth will sink into the sea.

After the destruction, a new and idyllic world will arise from the sea and will be filled with abundant supplies. Some of the gods will survive, others will be reborn. Wickedness and misery will no longer exist and gods and men will live happily together. The descendants of Lif and Lifthrasir will inhabit this earth.


`donovan. |11:19 PM|